I know this video is a bit old, but it truly is a gift from on high, or from lazy news agencies that have nothing better to report on than a bunch of idiots who claim they see a leprachaun in a tree.

GIVE LAMB A TONY

They don't make them like they used to, and by "them" I'm referring to thuggish white NBA players. Jason Williams carried the torch for a while, but more in the "when the shit goes down, you may or may not see me" sense.

Bill Laimbeer?

He ate babies, and would punch out anyone who got in the way of Motown, Larry Legend included. Refer to Exhibit A:

In the early 90's Bill even had the home-console market on lockdown, somehow getting Hudson Soft to release his own video game:

The most unrealistic thing about this picture isn't the cyborg armor or futuristic court, it's the fact that Bill Laimbeer is driving the lane and dunking.

The game itself was rubbish, save for the fact that occasionally you'd have to dodge buzzsaws, which isn't too different from attending a game at the Palace of Auburn Hills. In summation, pick up the vastly underrated Bulls vs. Lakers for Sega Genesis, pick the Phoenix Suns, and watch Tom Chambers double pump slam from the three point line.

HULK SMASH

I know I'm a couple years late, but seeing as how I didn't get Hulk Hands last year or the year before, I figured I'd appeal to someone's senses yet again. Please. Be a real friend and buy me these, because I'm too embarassed to bring them to the checkout line.

FYI, I'll also accept Thing Feet:

Speak English or Die

Piggybacking off the earlier post, which is lazy and irresponsible journalism, but dude, it's S.O.D!




The mighty Stormtroopers of Death, circa '92 NYC reunion show (I think). Watch Billy Milano GO OFF and kamikaze dive from 20 feet up. Watch Benante have a bad mustache. Watch Dan Liker wear jean shorts. Do it for your country.

On a related note, I heard that S.O.D. broke up (again) due to "creative differences", which is a laugh considering we're talking about the band that wrote serious timeless hits like "Fuck the Middle East" and "Fist Banging Mania." Sgt. D we hardly knew ye.

METAL THRASHING MAD

ANTHRAX - "Metal Thrashing Mad" (live in a dive '87)

When talking about this inagural clip with Producer Roco, he pointed out that a lot of my interests (musical and otherwise) are like 5-7 years before my time. To his point, I was about ten when Anthrax were in their golden age, but that doesn't make this song any less ripping.

The Anthrax of today is a bit like having the old Number Two combo at McDonalds after eating Prime Rib for a week. Okay and all, but no John Bush? Spitz rocking open toed leather sandals? I just equated Scott Ian to the two cheeseburger meal.

Anyways, let's jet back to an era wherein grown men could wear spandex biker shorts and be the manliest man in the room, and Bud Bundy has Anthrax over for dinner.

Anthrax will raid your fridge and play thrash licks on your grave!

On a more serious note, Danny Liker is one of the more underrated metal bassists of all time (quite the esoteric category, I know), and his post-Anthrax work in Nuclear Assault and Brutal Truth is crucial and will melt your face.

On the Go Team

I'm Jarrett, and this is the blog. Come on in.

This is more or less a vessel for me to rate energy drinks, review face-melting metal records, and wax nostolgic about 80's wrestlers.

I'm so excited I could fistfight a lion.